Dispatch1
Fountain Of Youth Quest
Questdate: Monday, March 20 Y2K
Greetings
from not so sunny florida as the winds howl and the rains come
churning down, the surf is wild, the inland waterway is a chopppy
mess and no one is moving around. Hunker down for the duration.
Were it not for Galaxy Quest on the airplane all would have been mayhem but remember, these are only actors pretending to be actors caught in a real space war situation.
Talk about your mugging. "Sure," the skycap says, "I'll tote your bags on my megatotal cart, take you to the rental car shuttle, no sweat no pain, my gain."
Little
did he know that when we got on the elevator to go to the shuttle
level he was in the palm of my hand where I had concealed the
new Sacagawee-wee-ah dollar with which I was going to give the
good lad a tip: "Here, take this and put it on Ponce de
Leon in the third race at Hialeha-ha."
Ever see a smile turn into a scowl in a blink eye? "A quarter, man? You got to be kidding."
He like many denizens of the central coastal regions had never seen the new wonderful addition to our coin collection.
Needles to say, the prick left us shaken and bleeding hot waiting for the shuttle which isn't scheduled for takeoff until May, dammit.
Instead we went to rental car hell for a few forgettable hours filling out the necessary forms then finally on our own, freedom, the open road. Whoa, baby. What's this? Speed limit 70? Aw right, crank her up and watch the cars pass us like we are doing fifty in the seventy but it's really they're doing 85 in the 70.
Too scary
for me. But this is modern America. Those aren't leftovers from
Jurassic Park out there in the jungle alongside. Those are advertisements
for dinosaurs you can buy at the roadside stands along with fresh
squeezed. This car has a CD player built in. Research Assistant
Zeetwo pops in Brittany and we rock we sing, "Hit me baby,
one more time!"
Hold
it! Research Assistant Zeeone hits the kill button. "Where's
the freebillortater? I don't remember seeing it in the trunk."
Ever try pulling over to the side of a 70 mph highway? Deadly. Stegosaurus flattened on the concrete. Every piece of research equipment taken out and scoured but she is right. It isn't there.
Optimize the transitroy beam, call back to the rental agency, while we're at it, scope the 7 11 for some goodies waiting for the pay phone to work.
Yeah, it's there. Go back? No. Get it later. On to
the research center, cleverly hidden in the midst of a retirees
double wide park, no one will ever suspect.
No one ever did suspect this innocuous abode held the secret of the search for the fountain of youth.
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